What They Don't Remember

In the book Habitation of Dragons, author Keith Miller tells this poignant story:

...It was the middle of night some years back, shortly after I had seriously tried to give God the key to my future. One of our children had called out in the darkness, "Daaaddy" I was surprised since they usually called for their mother. But I got up, stumbled into her room and carried her into the bathroom...

Her head lolled gently to one side and then she would catch herself, but never quite awaken. As I stood there looking at the softness of her face with her eyes closed, and the slightly tousled blond hair, I was filled with the most amazing sense of love and gratitude to God for that little girl. I kissed her gently on the nose and thought, "Some day you and I will remember this time of great closeness." And I could picture us talking about that night when she was a grown girl.

But then I realized that she would never remember this midnight closeness--because she had been asleep the whole time I was holding her. But even though she was asleep and would not remember these moments, my own love for her had in some way filled and changed my life as I had quietly helped her through a long winter night.

As I tucked her back in bed with a kiss, it struck me that in some sense this might be one of the reasons the whole Christian venture is worth it to God, in light of our amazing lack of awareness of His presence. I saw that He has been with me all along, loving me and helping me in the most mundane ways, even during those long nights of doubt when I have been spiritually asleep, oblivious to His presence. But even then, when I might least have been trying to respond to Him, His love for me may in some way have warmed His life... as my love for my little girl did mine. (Paraphrased by Ken Gire)

I need to open my eyes a little wider during my late night kiddo calls because I am missing some powerful moments.