Maybe I Am Not So Old


With last night's media frenzied coverage of all of the official and unofficial inauguration parties, I got a laugh out of the MTV-hosted ball. The Youth Inaugural Ball was a reasonable $75 per ticket, featured popular musical acts, had a formal dress code, and was for "youth" ages 18-35.

"Thirty-five?" I did a double-take at the television.

How many people consider themselves youths at 35? What about at age 30? Is 25 years old pushing it? Personally, I think my youth began slipping away at 22, and by 25 was a distant memory as real-world responsibilities extinguished my ability to spontaneously jump into a car and just disappear on a trip somewhere.

After thinking about it, I have concluded that there must have been one or two super hip and attractive people aged 35 who the sponsors of the event really wanted in attendance. My guess is that it was some wealthy jet-setting celebrity or celebrities who act as if they are 21, and are in denial regarding their true age (and that have successfully deceived the in-crowd to be included as one of the young).

Perhaps I need some inspiration. In the book 1003 Ways to Stay Young, Ann Hodgman includes these suggestions:

Use "I have to do my homework" to get out of stuff.

(Remember that) The oldest still-living tree is over 4,000 years old.

For heaven's sake, stop making those little groaning sounds when you stand-up and sit-down.


Just for the record, I will continue grunting when standing or sitting as that is an important component of my defensive strategy against the little gang. After hearing those annoying sounds from mom and dad, they are less likely to pelt us with plastic fruits and vegetables-—realizing that the grunts and groans become more audible with each strike of the snow pea.

2 comments:

Tell Me Wonders said...

ha, this one made me laugh.
age, age, age. It's going to happen anyway, why not just enjoy the age you're at? I don't see how 18 is any better than 35. But then again, I wouldn't know. c(:

Well, good luck with your grunts and groans, and hopefully no fruits will be thrown at you.

Slamdunk said...

Thanks for the encouragement--your right in that is all in a person's attitude. I'll also mark today as a good day since I was not hit by a flying apple...