Requests and Orders

I had a doctor visit for the annual physical a few days ago. Well, it should be an annual physical, but this was my first medical visit in three or so years.

Anyway, I got the impression the doctor was new. The physician was nice, professional, and answered confidently the couple of routine questions that I offered, but one question asked of me seemed unusual:

“So, do you want to do the turn and cough test today?”

After the words were processed by my tiny little brain, I had to hold back the laughter. I was trying to think of life equivalents to asking a guy if he wants to perform the dreaded turn and cough test:

--Wife asking her husband--"Honey do you want to guess my weight?”

--Sergeant asks patrol officer in January--"Hey, do you want to work the strike line at the large tire plant in town again tonight for half the shift? They only set two cars on fire last night.”

--Coach asks the players on a football team who just finished a week of two-a-days--“Do you all want to run some extra gassers before going home?

--Academic advisor asks his/her group of environmental science undergraduates a semester away from graduating with a 4.0 average--“Do you all want to take Organic Chemistry just for fun?”

--Dad asking son—“Are you interested in cleaning your room?”

--Internal Revenue Service agent asking me--“Do you feel like paying your taxes this year?”

I think my response to the doctor was predictable.


Expat From Hell said...

So, is tomorrow's blog going to be what happened when you finally bent over?
Good stuff!


Oz Girl said...

I hate going to the dr. Any dr, for any reason. Ugh.

Slamdunk said...

EPH: Ha, I think I have hit the blog quota on toilet humor with this post.

Christopher said...

I can think of a worse test he could have asked you to volunteer for than the turn and cough. It involves driving the wrong way down a one way street.

As my Doc administeredn that test, he asked me, "Do you feel any pain?"

"You mean, despite your finger being up my @$#?, Doc?" said...

could it have been that bad? LOL

glad to hear you went for a hike too! hey, i didn't see fish, so consider yourself lucky.

Expat From Hell said...

Dear Slam Dunk: You have been tagged. Thanks to you for your great inspiration always.



mappchik said...

The DH had a very similar experience this year with his new doctor. There was no mention of "the test" at all. He just assumed it was an automatic part of the physical, once you're over a certain age, so he asked. (Not that he really wanted the test, but...)

He was told that would be two weeks later, at the follow up appointment where they'd be going over all the bloodwork and other tests.

Slamdunk said...

Christopher: I totally block that exam out of my memory.

EPH: Thanks--you are the inpsirational writer, I am the guy talking about medical exams.

MC: I believe this was the short version just to satisfy insurance, but now that you mentioned what happened to him, I want be answering the phone for a few weeks.

Fayezie: I know I know males are fortunate as compared to female medical exams.