Humor By the Kids and About the Kids

Programming Note: I don’t have a post ready for my regular Friday topics—so I went with this one instead.

*Those Neighbors*

Why is it that every neighborhood, rural or urban, east or west, Northern or Southern, has a quota of odd neighbors?

I think it is one set per every ten houses.

Anyway, I was putting the trash to the curb a few days ago, and I was approached by our quirky neighbor walking her dog. We are on friendly terms though they do keep the local police busy with regular calls ranging from prowlers to disputes with neighbors.

The woman says hello to me and asks if we are going to be home later. "Uh, yes," I reply less than emphatically.

"I have some stuff I wanted to give your kids," she states.

I am not a big fan of allowing the kids to accept gifts from anyone; and especially suspicious of anything offered by our peculiar neighbors.

The neighbor continues: "I have some books, a toy phone, and a stethoscope from when Sally (her roommate) had shingles. The doctors did not use the stethoscope on her, I mean, it was just next to her bed in the hospital. Don’t worry, I soaked it in Clorox so it will be just fine."

As I watched the well meaning lady walk away I was tempted to say:

"Super, and don’t forget to bring the unexploded munitions that you all dug up last month in the backyard or the casually used hypodermic needles that you collect—those are a big hit with three-year olds on car trips."

I was able to warn the Mrs. of the expected gift and she was able to dispose of it properly (she was likely wearing a hazmat suit at the time).

*Geography Lesson*

Lately, we have been talking-up how great preschool is in our household since the little girl will be starting soon. She is doing well with potty-training and is excited about the prospect of regular play opportunities with other kids besides her brothers.

After discussing the wonders of preschool art, recess, and snack time with our daughter, the following exchange took place:

The Mrs.: Do you remember the name of your preschool?

Little Girl: Briarcreek

The Mrs.: Excellent. Do you remember the names of your teachers?

Little Girl: Mssss. Jane, Mssss. Jackie, and Mssss. Phyllis.

The Mrs.: There is one more. Do you remember?

Little Girl: Ummm… Msssss…. Mssss…. Mssss. Issippi!
Where do kiddos get this great comedic material?


angelcel said...

I love your mental reaction to 'the gift'! Now I think of it, if you did actually pass it on to your children it might just be the gift that just keeps on giving!

Erin said...

When I was a kid, I heard a commercial with the song "Soul Provider" on it, and I sang along with gusto: "Baby I wanna be your sofagiga!"

mappchik said...

Mssss. Issippi!

Yea! for geography humor.

Gifts for young children from the bedside of a shingles patient?!

Your quirky neighbor doesn't have any children, does she?

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

hilarious! I love it!

(dude, you got some weird neighbors! lol)

Natalie said...

I have widows on both sides of me, so you can bet I get a big kick out of some of their "thoughts" on life.

As for kiddies, where to start?! It reminds me of Bill Cosby's "Kids say the Darnedst Things" in which he interviews kids on random topics. I still lol over the young boy that sang to Smashing Pumpkins and sank down to his knees totally into it when he got to "despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage." The look on Cosby's face was CLASSIC!

Slamdunk said...

MC: You guessed it--they do not have kids.

Apurva said...

I think the 1 out of every 10 neighbors is probably pretty accurate-- I'd go with that same ratio for my street.

Mississippi-- classic!