Indulge in the Selfish Side of Writing
16 hours ago
As the mayor of Slamdunkville, I now realize that my officers are involved in way too many vehicle collisions. As a result, I just issued a memo informing all officers here that driving on patrol will no longer be permitted. Instead officers will be issued Heelys for use during the course of their official duties.Ok, I tried, but a funny comment that definitely hit the mark was by a commenter named "Trailing Spouse":
City Jail is going to be full of fat criminals.
...A 47-year-old man was arrested Thursday after he allegedly tried to abduct a 3-year-old boy in Newport News, Va., WAVY.com reported.I believe that some academicians and their efforts to downplay child abductions by strangers (by contributing pages and pages of work to academic journals discussing how stranger abductions are media hyped and are a rarity when compared to family member abductions) are doing a disservice to the public--whereas studies should be focused on developing useful information for criminal justice practioners trying to arrest these types of offenders.
According to police, Wesley Stuart Brown approached the child as he was playing outside, put him in a wagon and rolled him away, all in front of the toddler's grandmother, Angie Craig. She began to scream and neighbors quickly came to the rescue. They surrounded Brown and two of them took the boy and put him in their car until police arrived...
...Katie, too, is tormented by the abduction monsters embedded in modern parenting. Yet she wants to encourage her daughter’s independence. “Somehow, walking to school has become a political act when it’s this uncommon,” she said. “Somebody has to be first.”We live nowhere near our son's school, but even if it were a few blocks, he would have mom or dad tagging along on a walk to 3rd grade. As the "experts" in the article like to regurgitate, child abductions involving strangers are rare:
It has been 30 years since the May morning when Julie Patz, a Manhattan mother, finally allowed her 6-year-old son, Etan, to walk by himself to the school-bus stop, two blocks away. She watched till he crossed the street — and never saw him again.
Since that haunting case, a generation of parents and administrators have created dense rituals of supervision around what used to be a mere afterthought of childhood: taking yourself to and from school...
...About 115 children are kidnapped by strangers each year, according to federal statistics; 250,000 are injured in auto accidents....It should be noted that the cited numbers involve confirmed stranger abductions and do not include the unknown offender abductions--which most assuredly would make the totals greater.
...In his first nine years of school, Michael Oher was enrolled in 11 different institutions, and that included a gap of 18 months, around age 10, when he apparently did not attend school at all. Either that or the public schools were so indifferent to his presence that they neglected to register it formally.I enjoy Lewis' style--humorous, yet able to effectively hammer points.
Not that Oher actually showed up at the schools where he was enrolled. Even when he received credit for attending, he was sensationally absent: 46 days of a single term of his first-grade year, for instance. His first first-grade year, that is; Michael Oher repeated first grade. He repeated second grade, too.
And yet the school system presented these early years as the most accomplished of his academic career. They claimed that right through the fourth grade he was performing at “grade level.” How could they know when, according to these transcripts, he hadn’t even attended the third grade?
Simpson, who had spent 30-plus years in area public schools, including 29 in Memphis, knew what everyone who had even a brief brush with the Memphis public schools knew: they passed kids up to the next grade because they found it too much trouble to flunk them. They functioned as an assembly line churning out products never meant to be market-tested.
At several schools, Michael Oher had been given F’s in reading his first term and C’s the second term, which allowed him to finish the school year with D’s — they were giving him grades just to get rid of him. And get rid of him they did: seldom did the child return to the school that passed him. The year before Simpson got his file, Michael Oher passed ninth grade at a high school called Westwood.
According to his transcripts, he missed 50 days of school that year. Fifty days! At Briarcrest, the rule was that if a student misses 15 days of any class, he has to repeat the class no matter his grade. And yet Westwood had given Michael Oher just enough D’s to move him along.
Even when you threw in the B in world geography, clearly a gift from the Westwood basketball coach who taught the class, the grade-point average the student would bring with him to Briarcrest began with a zero: 0.6.
If there was a less promising academic record, Simpson hadn’t seen it. Simpson guessed, rightly, that the Briarcrest Christian School hadn’t seen anything like Michael Oher either.
Simpson and others in the Briarcrest community would eventually learn that Michael’s father had been shot and killed and tossed off a bridge, that his mother was addicted to crack cocaine and that his life experience was so narrow that he might as well have spent his first 16 years inside a closet. And yet here was his application, in the summer of 2002, courtesy of the Briarcrest football coach, Hugh Freeze, who offered with it this wildly implausible story: Big Mike, as he was called, was essentially homeless and so had made an art of sleeping on whatever floor the ghetto would provide for him.
He crashed for a stretch on the floor of an inner-city character named Tony Henderson, who at nearly 400 pounds himself was known simply as Big Tony. Big Tony’s mom had died and as her dying wish asked Tony to enroll his son Steven Payne at a “Christian school.” Big Tony had figured that as long as he was taking Steven, he might as well take Big Mike, too...
...Merriman was arrested early Sunday on suspicion of choking and restraining MTV reality show star Tila Tequila, police said.Mike Florio at ProFootballTalk scooped the mainstream media and posted Merriman's probable defense (trying to prevent his intoxicated girlfriend from driving) first.
Shawne Merriman is accused of restraining reality TV star Tila Tequlia as she tried to leave his home, police say.
However, Merriman's attorney denied the allegations, saying more than a dozen other people were at Merriman's house in suburban San Diego, California, at the time of the incident...
Authorities responded to a disturbance call about 3:45 a.m. Sunday from a woman who said she had been choked and restrained by a male, the sheriff's department of San Diego County, California, said in a statement.
When police arrived, "the reporting party identified herself as Tila Nguyen, aka Tila Tequila, and her alleged assailant as Shawne Merriman," the statement said.
"Nguyen told deputies she had been choked and physically restrained by Merriman when she attempted to leave his residence," the statement said.
Nguyen signed a citizen's arrest at the scene, and Merriman was taken into custody on suspicion of battery and false imprisonment, according to the statement.
Deputies didn't see any physical injuries on Nguyen, but she asked to be transported to a local hospital, sheriff's spokeswoman Jan Caldwell said....
Merriman's attorney, Todd Macaluso, told reporters that Nguyen was "extremely intoxicated and inebriated" and that the player tried to make arrangements for her to leave the house..."
...The situation raises an interesting point regarding the lengths to which someone can or should go to stop someone else from driving drunk. In this case, Merriman will claim that he did not cross the line, and the other persons who were at his home are expected to testify to that end...So what is permitted by law for an individual to prevent another person who is believed to be intoxicated from operating a motor vehicle?
A 61-year-old Oklahoma pastor likely died from "multiple sharp force injuries," according to an autopsy report CNN obtained Friday.Despite the physical evidence that seems to indicate some sort of religious or racial motive for the killing (one report had both of her arms extended), investigators won't stop there.
Carol Daniels, a pastor from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, had injuries to her back, breasts, hands and neck, the report from the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner said.
The report called the death a homicide...
A local prosecutor has described the crime scene as "horrific."
Daniels traveled many Sundays to Anadarko, Oklahoma, about 50 miles southwest of her home, to Christ Holy Sanctified Church "in case people came in to worship," her son, Alvin Daniels, told CNN.
Investigators found her body inside the church around noon on Sunday.
District Attorney Bret Burns called the crime scene the worst he'd seen in 17 years as a prosecutor, but he would not say why. He also declined to comment about a possible motive.
Jessica Brown, a spokeswoman for Oklahoma's State Bureau of Investigation, said the body was "staged" after the killing, but she declined to say more...