Connecting Pennies and Urinals: It Must Be Friday

Recently, Amy of Windy City Whimsy used a creative approach for a post.

She employs a site tracker on her blog to record visitor stats, and from that information, compiled a list of odd and humorous keywords that readers have entered in search engines before arriving on her website.

Many site trackers are free to download, like Sitemeter (what I use) and Google Analytics, and they are useful in identifying posted topics that interest people.

Curious, I wondered what peculiar entry methods characterized some of my blog's visitors.

Here are five:

5) Keywords: "Fancy Urinal"
Post Result: Awkward

Before starting restroom repairs at your school, social club, or neighborhood bar, it is essential to know the greatest equipment designs for men needing to relieve themselves.

Also, me visiting a public restroom while juggling rowdy twins in need of diaper changes offers a bit of comic relief.

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4) Keywords: "Chuck E. Cheese Arrest"
Post Result: Where a Kid Can Be a Kid/Delinquent/Frat Pledge

Yes, even the nation's premier family restaurant and arcade gets its share of bad publicity due to crime on-site.

I ended my post with this observation about criminal activity at the Cheese:

...I remember during my patrol days, during a pre-shift briefing, one of the supervisors read an extra patrol due to gang activity at Chuck E. Cheese’s Pizza. Amidst all of the laughter, I immediately thought about how much street credibility that “gang members” could possibly have who were concerned with marking the skee-ball and dancing mouse stage as their turf.
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3) Keywords: "Guaranteed Pick-up Lines"
Post Result: Pick-up Lines and Crime

Connecting a dumb criminal story with golden pick-up lines like: "Did it hurt? You know when you fell from heaven and landed here" should qualify me to readily dispense dating advice to readers, right?

Ok, maybe this role is way past my skill set...

In any event, I hope my tips worked for these visitors and their social lives.

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2) Keywords: "Coins and Breathalyzer"
Post Result: Trying to Beat the Breathalyzer

I am sure the popularity of this search is correlated to those trying to avoid being arrested from excessive New Years Eve, St. Patrick's Day, and Fourth of July celebrations.

And no, keeping pennies in your mouth does not disrupt the breathalyzer machine, but it is more sanitary than what the Canadian fellow tried (also described in the post).

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1) Keywords: "Pimp and Stun"
Post Result: Tuber of the Week: Brachial Plexus Stun

Though these two words seem like an odd combination, they are actually spot on to see a classic brachial plexus stun application that was an old favorite used by trainers in police academies.

I should charge each of these visitors a fee to view this video, as it took me hours to find it online when all I could remember about the clip was the technique and that it had to do with a man confronting disorderly prostitution activities.

It is a wonder that I am still married with some of the search engine results that I had to ignore before finding this gem.

22 comments:

LadyFi said...

Your search terms are both funny and unusual!

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

That's hilarious!!! I have yet to do that for my blog. What did your wife say about this post?

Bob G. said...

Slamdunk:
Geez, I'd be afraid to see what search criteria are used to find my blog...LOL
(don't even wanna know).

(ahem)..."Pimp and stun"???

LMAO!

Amy said...

HA I LOVE seeing what people search for to find me :) Thanks for the links!

Herding Cats said...

I'm pretty sure it would make my LIFE is one of my search terms was "pimp and stun"

angelcel said...

Hehe...

'Guaranteed pick-up lines' Er, *are* there any?! I somehow doubt it!

When you look at these searches it reveals a lot of human fasinations, foibles and fetishes. My biggest 'hit' *still* comes from combinations to do with 'no knickers' after a piece I wrote about Royal Ascot! Leave it out people! :D

tam pham said...

OMG too funny! i will have to definitely copy this idea! i have noticed that a couple of my popular key words are "is michael kors gay" (random) and "girls in hello kitty underwear (yikes!).

have a great weekend :-)!

Alexysc said...

Very innovative idea. I like it.

SuziCate said...

Quite funny. Looks like I need to check out some of these past posts.

Conquer The Monkey said...

I think that is so funny. I'm curious what odd search terms lead people to my Monkey Blog???!!!! that could get freaky~!
have a wonderful w/end!!!
Cameron

Meg said...

Great idea and very funny!

Elissa said...

This is probably one of the funniest posts I have ever read. I'm so glad someone else appreciates stuff like this! :) Thanks for visiting my blog!

Dan said...

What is really amazing is how fast the stats skew after a couple of posts with words like googlesex and sex and date.

Other times one would really like to know who the idiots were searching for the odd terms.

T. Anne said...

Too funny! I have a site tracker and indeed it does lead to some unusual traffic!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Going to try on my own site! Thanks for the tip, this is too funny!

jules said...

I love google analytics. Now I'm off to find out what could more MORE unsanitary that putting a penny in your mouth...

Audrey Allure said...

Haha those are hilarious. Hmm, I wonder what my readers type in to visit my blog.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Cool, I love to analyze things. I'll have to try it out. :)

Slamdunk said...

Thanks all--it was a fun and educational exercise.

@ My Husband...: I'll have to check--she is not a regular reader of the blog; usually only when I bother her for stuff.

@ Elissa: I appreciate the kind words.

@ Dan: I don't think that the comments section in blogger usually return on basic Internet searches--too bad considering your language would have meant at least 30 extra site hits for me on this post.

Holly said...

Yet more reasons why I do not understand the technical/analytical/cyberspace portion of blogging.

 ALH said...

Love it. The wonders of site tracking. I'm always amazed at the stuff that leads people to my site. Great idea to post them :)

moresecretwhispers said...

hahaha i often enjoy reading the words that lead people to my blog via google :)