Unauthorized Video

The damage that unauthorized video tapes can do to a person professionally and personally is unmeasured.  

Unfortunately, we currently have private family footage of our four-year-old daughter, "Sissy," smiling while using her hand and armpit to replicate the unmistakable sound of loud flatulence.

It is obvious that she spends too much time with her two brothers.

If these tapes are released to the public in the future, it could very well cost her an important election, a job or promotion, or maybe even prevent her entry into Harvard or Yale.

For the time being, she is focused on the short-term and content with impressing her father and siblings.

-------------------

What?

No, I did not correct Sissy's stance and arm angle to deliver maximum noise. 

Ok, maybe a little. 

Well, at least my instruction was not recorded...

26 comments:

Matthew Rush said...

You're funny Slam. I certainly hope the antics of a four year old would not be considered something that has to go down on her "permanent record".

Today's guest blogger is Rose Cooper!

Donna M. Kohlstrom said...

What a giggle! Thanks for sharing!

I'm sure we all have those family videos in a closet somewhere and hope that no one will ever see them!

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

hahah! Great! I've got a family video of me pretending to be a singing banana. I was four. I was making up words that were beyond incomrehensible, when I fell into a bush. And I kept singing!

Selma said...

You can milk those tapes for all they're worth for many, many years. Comedy gold!

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt said...

Ha! More important than that world's opinion of Sissy, Sissy will never forgive her family for this. The video is worse than our threatening our girls that we will show their silly baby pictures to their first boyfriends.

Incidentally, unless someone posts violent or illegal material on the web, I don't think it should be held against him/her. Free speech is free speech. What's offensive to one is not to another. 'If you don't like what I have to say, then don't read it.' It's your choice, just as expressing myself is MY choice.

Momma Fargo said...

Very funny! Love it. Hope no blackmailing comes your way. Hush money. Oy...the damage in life. Visualizations of a scandal...

sheri said...

this is TOO funny, slam!!!! am i the only one wishing that you'd post it, lol??? honestly, i love those pics and you might be able to use it as barter later on in her life ;)
you are a seriously tongue-in-cheek funny!!

Audrey Allure said...

Haha that's awesome. I hope my parents never show off my embarrassing childhood videos.

Herding Cats said...

You're a dad, that's your job!

LisaF said...

the future boyfriends are going to be so impressed. Now you need to teach her how to be belch with the best of 'em!

Isha Shiri said...

Hi Slam,

Your little girl must be very sweet and cute - cute. She has sense of humor.

The videos, images.., our lives today are so exposed, is not true? May even expose in the web without our consent. The worst, can even edit anything with any image! I think in the future nothing will surprise with images, true or false. After all, we do must be relevant only to our consciences ... Who knows? Who cares?

Maybe can begin launch a campaign in the world-web now:

You seen? - You knows? - Who care?
"Why you want judging other people?
First look within yourself"


I loved this post.

Kisses

Ann T. said...

Dear Slamdunk,
LOL! Ummm, are you sure You're not planning to use it

to get out of that Harvard tuition?

Always good to have a reserve on hand!

Have a great weekend. Much love to your family!

Ann T.

Stephanie Faris said...

Yep...never do anything on tape you'd ever care if anyone saw! Because those things DO come back to haunt you.

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

This is too funny!

Rachel said...

You are too funny!! Thanks for the smiles!

Rachel

Hilary said...

Ha.. too funny. Oh, I have videos. Is it wrong to bribe our kidlets? ;)

Theresa Milstein said...

I hope the admissions committee doesn't don't judge her too harshly. After all, she's young child being led astray by her brothers. And a certain parent....

Katherine ( Katie) Corrigan said...

giggle!...............love this post!

Lydia Kang said...

Ha ha!
No, actually I agree with Katherine. Use it as blackmail fodder when she shows up with a scary boyfriend. It could come in handy!

tattytiara said...

Surely they don't admit people who can't make armpit farts to Harvard or Yale, I mean they do have academic standards.

WomanHonorThyself said...

aw cute cute ! Have a super Sunday my friend!!!:)

SuziCate said...

Ha...never know it might help her get her foot (er arm) in the door somewhere!

Bob G. said...

Slamdunk:
I dunno about those vids PREVENTING her from getting a good job, or winning an election, or even entering a prestigious college.

The way things are going THESE days...it may do more HELP...than harm.
(ROFL)
Keep that camera handy.

Good post!

Luisa Doraz said...

lol :) Now a days...you never know. Hope you have a fun week. Video camera charged up??? lol :)

Karen @ MakingNew said...

haha! I imagine my parent's are holding onto some similar videos, just waiting for the "appropriate" time for viewing.

Sultana said...

'An important election' I just love that :-D