Halloween Haiku?

The following is a conversation from yesterday that the Mrs. recounted for me.

The setting is outside of school at pick-up time.

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STARLA: Hi. Did you take the kids out for Halloween?

THE MRS.:  Yes, we stopped by to see a few of the neighbors and... 

Starla interrupts midsentence.

STARLA: Well, we took our little ones to many of the professionals in our upscale subdivision, and I had them do something memorable at each stop.

None of the parents listening takes the bait in asking what was so memorable, so Starla continues nonetheless.

STARLA: Yes it was memorable, I say.  I had the boys recite a haiku before receiving any treats.

THE MRS.: That must have been quite a sight.


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My thought?

Doesn't mandating a child to recite a haiku prior to receiving candy on Halloween remind you of one of those crazy local laws like it's illegal in Alabama to operate a motor vehicle while blindfolded or it is/was against the law to shoot a buffalo in Texas from the second story of a hotel?

Maybe the "Halloween Haiku" is illegal somewhere in the world.

I'm just saying...

43 comments:

Lt said...

So I googled "halloween Haiku"

"From ebon branches
Owls hoot out their advice
To trick-or-treaters"

Not bad.

But really, the kind of kids who have a mom who make them spit a haiku before getting candy on Halloween are the kind of kids that end up in counseling when they're 35. Not that I'm speaking from experience... or anything.

Miss Caitlin S. said...

omg, how stupid... especially since she dropped "upscale" neighborhoods... la dee da! I'm glad The Mrs. (and the others) didn't take the bait. I'm sure all of your children had a much better time not having to recite haikus.

suz said...

What? "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something sweet to eat," isn't poetic enough? Wish I could see the blank stares from people answering the doors.

malone8 said...

Forcing a child to recite haiku before receiving candy reminds me of when I was young and we had to sing for guests when they came to visit.

Yuk! Maxi

Herding Cats said...

Ew. She did that?! Her poor kids are going to hate her!

Hilary said...

I expect they'll be the only kids at the mall who will have to sing Christmas carols for Santa.

And I bet Starla hands out toothbrushes for Halloween.

Matthew Rush said...

WTH? I want to know who the hell these professionals are and what they're doing in the neighborhood.

Jackie said...

"Upscale neighbourhoods" pfft!! I grew up in the country you always go more/better candy there!! Less kids, people with too much candy= LOTS of Candy.

Something irks me about parents who try and prove that their kids are better than yours! And i'm not even a parent!

xx
Jaxs

Bob G. said...

Slamdunk:
Starla might have self-esteem issues w/ the kids...
Seems a bit contrived AND controlling...
(imho)
I like Suz's rhyme much better...lol

lifeshighway said...

If Halloween Haiku are not illegal they should be. My question is, just who were they memorializing an ancient Japanese candy maker?

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

No haikus for me at my door, I like to get them their treat and send them on their way as quickly as possible!

angelcel said...

Starla might not be so smug if she knew that my first thought on hearing this was: 'Oh dear, here we witness neuroses in the making.'

Jessica Bell said...

HA! Now that is just .. bizarre.

Diane said...

What's the point if you gotta work for it? Just the trudging from door to door should have been enough. :O)

Audrey Allure said...

Halloween Haiku? Haha, must've been a LONG night.

WomanHonorThyself said...

aw halloween poetry..how novel!..I'm headin to vote now Slam...310 million people in our Nation deserve a heck of alot better than the terrorist sympathizers in govt!!!

obladi oblada said...

Ugh..people like Starla are one reason I dont like people very much! Lol...seriously? She mentioned her "upscale" subdivision...oh my.

KittyCat said...

So did you check it out?

To see if there is a law somewhere. Im curious to know.

I guess I am a sucky parent. I never thought of this.

I was prev too busy dressing up the dogs before we headed out.

Come on, seriously. Doggies need treats too.

James (SeattleDad) said...

I've got a Haiku for her.

'Shut the hell up.'

Ok, so it needs work but I'm sure she would get the point.

Happy belated Halloween to you all.

Momma Fargo said...

Wow. Aren't we all glad there is only one Starla in the world. Poor children.

Jen said...

The zombies must have got her brain...

Brian Miller said...

hehe...i like LTs comment as well...yeah bet those kids will need counseling...

Helen Ginger said...

Must be a fun household.

We killed our mother
On a Halloween night
Haiku voodoo

That's probably not a true Haiku, but it's late.

Kristin said...

She cannot be for real. Wow.

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I totally agree with you. If any of the kids who came to my house on Sunday night tried to spit out a haiku, they wouldn't have gotten any swag. Who has that kind of time?

sunshineinlondon said...

Halloween haiku? How horrendous...
Sunshine

Creepy Query Girl said...

that is insane. My yankee parents who moved south eight years ago were complaining the other day that in their region of Spartanburg SC- whenever halloween is on a sunday the county requires the children to do their trick or treating the night before. Because somehow celebrating halloween on a sunday is sacriligious or something.

MONICA-LnP said...

what happened to just saying Trick or Treat smell my feet like I MAKE my kids say!

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Ha! Well, it is Trick or Treat.

I'm surprised those kids are allowed candy.

carma said...

sounds like a family of dreadful overachievers who don't spend time entering to win pointless giveaways

CL Beck, author said...

Hmm, wish the Mrs. had found out what the haiku was ... maybe we could "borrow" it, enter it in a contest and win a lot of loot? :)

Have to say I got a big laugh out of Seattle Dad's reaction.

And before I forget, thanks SlamDunks, for stopping by my blog and commenting on Bill Dancer's bloopers. They have me rolling on the floor every time.

Katie McCoach said...

That's too funny. A different haiku every time? That's just terrible. Those poor kids seriously had to work for those treats. I wonder what that will teach them in the end

Entre Nous said...

Hmmm, snooty trick or treating, what is this world coming to!

Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt said...

Um, I write poetry and I don't even ask my kids politely to do that kind of thing?

Starla is a snot.

Travel Nurse Extraordinaire said...

Some adults should try childhood over again.

jodeeluna said...

I read you post thinking, "Ok, I'm an English teacher and I can't remember how many syllables are in each line of a haiku. Is it 5, 7, 5?"

What an odd parenting technique?

jodeeluna said...

I meant, "your post" Geez, I can't spell either. Good thing I'm not going trick-or-treating with that mother.

chuckmullis said...

Talk about sucking all of the joy out of Halloween!

Oz Girl said...

Quite bizarre, for sure. And this parent was proud of this?? Strange one, she is.

And honestly, "upscale" usually equates to "cheap". They have more debt/bills and usually are the cheapest people around!!!!

(The BMWs, Jags, Mercedes, etc. who come through my toll booth never leave "tips". People in ratty cars often leave me tips. Go figure.)

Wendy said...

Ridiculous. I don't know that mom, yet I feel something akin to "come on...?!" for her. Poors kids. They just want their candy! Moms like that that think they have to be the biggest and the best really get on my nerves. No one cares. Move on. :)

LisaF said...

And I thought I was doing well to force the little darlings say "Trick or Treat!" Seriously, I only get snarky with the older ones who simply open their bags and expect candy. The little ones practically yell it.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

What fun!!!!!!! I bet her children loved that! I wonder what she makes them do for Xmas caroling (assuming people still do that) -- a tap dance routine and fire-eating show?

Ann T. said...

Dear Slamdunk,
Starla seems determined to get those children into Harvard ASAP.

But if they need to learn to suck up, haiku is not the way! Running a lawn mower over those rich peep's lawns for less than $10.00 is a much better idea!

What a freaky mom.
Ann T.