A Spouse Confession: Selective Listening

This was a recent conversation between the Mrs. and me.  I might have been a little distracted.

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THE MRS.: Now, this week is busy.  I have afternoon meetings on Tuesday and Thursday.  Sissy starts her gymnastics on Monday at 4 pm.  Will you remember that?

SLAMDUNK: Uh... Uh...Yeah...

THE MRS: Big Boy has camp every day until 4:30 pm, and on Wednesday, little Luca's TSS worker won't be able to go to preschool with him, so you two have a guys' morning out.  Are you listening to me?

Moment of silence.

SLAMDUNK: Er...Sure...

THE MRS: You also have the car repair appointment on Friday--the one for the recall.  And, thank you for folding the bath towels.  You did a great job, this time.

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Okay, now the same recent conversation from my perspective.

THE MRS.: Tada, tada week is busy. Tada, tada, tada, starts her gymnastics tada, tada, tada.  on Monday tada, tada.  Will you remember that?

SLAMDUNK: Uh... Uh...Yeah...

THE MRS: Big Boy tada tada tada tada Wednesday, little Luca tada, tada, tada tada. Tada tada you listening to me?

Moment of silence.

SLAMDUNK: Er...Sure...

THE MRS: Tada tada tada Friday--tada tada tada.  And, tada tada folding the bath towels. Tada tada tada great job, THIS TIME.

SLAMDUNK:  Wait.  What was that?  This time?  What's wrong with my towel folding?

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So this is what a spouse refers to as "selective listening."

Ok, I plead guilty as charged. 

28 comments:

Matthew MacNish said...

I don't understand why it takes two people to remember everything. If one of us is good at it, why can't she just be the one to remember everything?

Momma Fargo said...

LMAO. Now I understand. LOL. I bet the Mrs. has a good backhand for you. :) just kidding.

Jessica Bell said...

hahaha! Gosh you sound like my partner ;o)

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

HA! Now I know Matt's secret. You men!

Katie Ganshert said...

Ha! Yep. I think that's pretty accurate.

Stephanie Faris said...

I think in that case a calendar really does better than telling men things. The challenge is, getting men to READ that calendar!

Tana Adams said...

At least you were kind enough to admit it. And lol at Matthew MacNish's comment. That's the way it works in my house.

Tana Adams said...

At least you were kind enough to admit it. And lol at Matthew MacNish's comment. That's the way it works in my house.

Hilary said...

Your towel conversation is... absorbing. ;)

Diane said...

You're wife's a gem I can tell. I'm actually surprised you even got that much. I think my husband just hears the teacher from Charlie Brown.... wah, wah, wah, wah...... :O)

Ally Lifewithally said...

A calendar is a good idea ~ just remember to read it everyday :O) ~ Ally x

Anonymous said...

Boy do I know that one! But now to be fair you should do one on "Low women talk"

ZaSu Says said...

I use phone alarms can't forget then - just be sure to label the alarm or you'll be left wondering what the ...

jodeeluna said...

This sounds like someone who lives in my home :). My suggestion is a whiteboard where the Mrs. can leave a bulleted list. Now there's the teacher in me coming out again. It sure does work, though.

MONICA-LnP said...

and this is exactly why I WRITE everything down on a calendar!lol

Lady Old Soul said...

Haha, JUST like my hubby!! xD And he wonders/gets all pissy that I sneak into his iPhone calendar and add all kinds of shit he's supposed to remember....LMAO At least you're aware of your hearing problem! Kudos....;)

Miranda Hardy said...

This made me smile. Very funny. The poor Mrs.

Jeanette Levellie said...

You admit it? Wow. Ten points for that!!!

carma said...

my son and I crack up because my husband never listens. I will tell him the same thing days apart and then when the event happens he's all "what are we doing? when do we need to be there" - you are not alone. We women are perfect ;-)

secret agent woman said...

This is why women sometimes kill their husbands as they are sleeping.

J. J. in Phila said...

As I sometimes have to say to clients, "What part of 'You can't do that' don't you understand." :)

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Love it! I was actually famous for doing this to my mother... still do when she visits!

Lisa said...

But did you remember all the stuff? If so, you're forgiven. If not.....

Jennifer Hillier said...

Finally! A full admission! I'm printing this out to show my husband. He'll probably hate you, LOL.

Maxi said...

Don't feel bad Slam. My husband listens and still doesn't get anything straight.

Jenny said...

Hey, are you hiding somewhere in my house - ha!

Dawn Simon said...

Hee! That darn selective listening... ;) Though I have to confess I need all my plans written on my calendar.

Happy Father's Day!

SuziCate said...

Certainly got a chuckle out of this...sounds just like my house! And my father who is hard of hearing manages to hear anything three rooms away when his name is mentioned in the same conversation!