Messin with the Spouse

Waiting at pick-up time in the lobby of the church that houses our youngest son's preschool, I entertain myself by reading the bulletin boards.

Potluck Dinner on Wednesday.

An exercise class for senior adults is seeking new members.

Information on collecting used eyeglasses.

With just me, myself, and I to talk to, I look outside.  All is quiet.

I realize that being alone here is odd.

I get that worrisome feeling.

Where is everyone?  Did the kids take a field trip today and I forgot that the pick-up location had changed?

No kids.  No teachers.  No parents.

Strange.

By the door the church's security alarm is visible, and I see the clock "11:15 am."

11:15 am?  That can't be right!  I left my car to walk in this door at 11: 20 am.

The car's clock. 

The Mrs. must have changed it.

The clock had been 4-5 minutes slow for sometime, and she must have changed it.

The new time displayed is 10 minutes fast.

She got me--inadvertently of course.

But still.

Well, I twiddled my thumbs for a little while longer, and eventually teachers, parents, and noisy little ones appeared.

And as a typical husband, I immediately began plotting my revenge.

Hmm.

Should I leave my muddy grass-covered mowing shoes on the front porch near the entry door to greet all visitors who enter?  How about that?

Um, no, that is where my shoes are right now.

Ok, should I leave the toilet seat lid in the upright position for an entire week?

Wait, no, I have been doing that for the more than a dozen years of marriage.

Well, I'll just leave my razor clippings partially cleaned-up in the sink.

Yeah.

Hold on.  Man, I thought I cleaned up all those tiny disgusting hairs this morning.  I guess I missed a few on the porcelain...

Well.

On second thought, perhaps resetting the car clock is no big deal, and the Mrs. deserves to give me 50 or 60 more "gotchas" just to call it an "Even Stephen" between us.

Now to go clean that sink...   

40 comments:

Miranda Hardy said...

Your poor wife. lol Love the clock thing.

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I think you came to the best possible conclusion given the situation :)

Matthew MacNish said...

So true. It's best to face our inadequacies head on. Besides, I need the car clock fast or I'll be late to work.

Janna Qualman said...

Nice to see a man own up to those things! ;)

Sarah Forgrave said...

A fast clock sure does mess things up, doesn't it? My kitchen clock is fast, and I always get in my van and think, "Man, I just gained five minutes." Which, in my case, is a good thing since it keeps me from being late. :)

My Husband's Watching TV... said...

Great philosophy! Can you share that with my husband???

Clarissa Draper said...

My husband thinks just like you!

Pat Hatt said...

haha my clock is always fast so I have time. So she was just doing you a favor. You got there in plenty of time right?..haha

CAcopwife said...

I just think this post is so cute. At least you took a moment to ponder those things, right?

terri said...

I've had that feeling before ... that "Am I in the right place?" kind of feeling. That is the worst.

Your wife probably thought she was doing you a favor by resetting the clock. Glad you decided against taking revenge! :-)

Little Ms. Fun said...

anddd I'm never getting married!!! hahaha

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I haven't reset any clocks. So WHY all the hairs in my sink?!?

Bob G. said...

SLamdunk:
I first thought you were "guesting" on a recent episode of THE WALKING DEAD" with the vacant church gig...glad that wasn't the case.

As to the car clock?
I ALWAYS run it 5 minutes fast, too...don't want myself OR the missus to be late.
And I always put the seat back down...AND clean up the sink-stubble.

Yeah, Wifey and I have a real "give and take" relationship...
I give and she takes.
It's all good, though.

But at least the bathroom is squared away nicely...lol.
Plus, she likes my cooking...what can I say?

Good post AND comments by all.

Stay safe out there.

A Doc 2 Be said...

One time when my son was 8, the first day of school was fast approaching.

On the first day, I made sure he was up early, teeth brushed, bathed, great breakfast (hot waffles and eggs), made sure his little backpack was ready and that he had a great lunch.

Drove him to school so that he'd be a wee bit early (like 10 minutes) so that he could get settled.

Expecting to see busses lined up outside, I saw nothing.

10 minutes passed, still no busses and no other parents either.

another 10 minutes passed and still ... nothing.

I walked into the school with him asking if I'd missed the first day of school and it had started yesterday instead.

No... I was off a day!

lol. Oops.

Dawn said...

hehe....hilarious. You made a good decision in your retaliation;)

SuziCate said...

Ha, I have been known to seet the clocks up a few minutes as the hubby waits until the very last minute to do something...or he hits the snooze over and over before he gets up...yeah, I'm guilty....and yes, he's done all those things you mentioned that you do, must be a man thing!

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

This is so funny :) Now I have another idea for how to prank my brother--set all of his clocks back bwa ha ha! This could be good!

Lydia Kang said...

My alarm clock is always set forward. Totally messes with my brain.

Hey, thanks also for the congrats!

Michael Offutt said...

When I think of time keeping, I think that Einstein had it right. It's all relative, ya know?

julie fedderson said...

I always set the clock fast. However, I am now a master of recalculating based on the time change, so I guess I have completely ruined my purpose. You'd be surprised the amazing math I can do, especially if it means a few more minutes of sleep. Also, thank you for the incredibly kind things you said about my story today, it really made my day!

secret agent woman said...

Wait, you're thinking about getting revenge for a mistake? I think you owe her an apology just for considering it.

Carol Kilgore said...

Is there a man rulebook someplace that all of you have to read at age 12? I'm pretty sure there is and you're sworn to secrecy :)

rachelsjunkinthetrunk said...

This was way too cute!Loved it!

Chip "Rocket Man" Allen said...

Man, it's that king of thinking that get's me in trouble with THE BOSS! all the time! Today I fooled her. When she got home from work I had dinner on the tables, dishes done, the kitchen cleaned up and all the laundry washed, dried and folded. She went back outside to check the address and make sure she had the right house!

Brian Miller said...

ha playful...i like...we like to have fun similarly...

ladyfi said...

LOL! Well she gotcha there on time, didn't she? ;-)

Miss Caitlin S. said...

Oh you are a sweet Husband to recognize that you already lost the battle AND the war :) My boyfriend once left his toenail clippings all over... blah, so disgusting. Boys will be boys. And I'm glad you didn't miss picking up your little one!

MONICA-LnP said...

glad you opted not to get your wife back, especially since the time change wasnt done on purpose ;)

Candice said...

Oh, all those razor clipping are one of my pet peeves! It sounds like your wife still owes ya a few!

Momma Fargo said...

OMG! Thanks for the laugh. I spit my water all over reading about your evil plots.

Amie Kaufman said...

Wise, wise words. that's al I have to say about that.

Maxi said...

About the sink…

The Mrs. probably beat ya to the cleanup.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

Hah!! I love that your car clock was off, because all our car clocks are as well. Mine's about 5 min fast and my sister's and bro's are 10 min fast. It just seems a waste of time to change it.

changedbychange said...

What scares me is that my husband might be doing all those things on purpose! The toilet seat being the exception.... I think I'm one of the only wives in the world who doesn't have to deal with that!

Christina Lee said...

I could hug you for this post! You're a good man (heh heh)!

Ciara said...

ROFL...Okay, first, I thought I was the only one who started letting her mind go wild with possibilities when things seem off with the kiddos.

A man who thinks of all the things he could do better? Priceless. If she only knew you thought that, you'd be a lucky guy. :)

Lisa said...

LOL! This really did make me smile. You have such a great sense of humor when it comes to those mundane family experiences. :-)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Hmmm. Now that you mention it, my hubby owes me 50 or 60 too. :D

jodeeluna said...

I must admit, your real life posts are my favorites. You have a gift for spotlighting life. I appreciate your professional investigative posts as well, but posts like this one make me smile.

Wendster said...

Always best to do the loving thing in response to a "perceived" slight.

good call.