Assault by Orange

After reading this felony crime story from Florida, I was left with lots of questions:

FORT PIERCE — A 68-year-old former candidate for St. Lucie County Property Appraiser, dressed only in his underwear, is charged with aggravated assault for allegedly throwing an orange at a construction worker seven stories below him on South Ocean Drive, according to police reports.

William Wink was arrested 10 a.m. Friday at his seven-floor residence in the Avalon Beach Club condominiums in the 300 block of South Ocean Drive. He is out of jail under a $3,750 bail on the felony offense.

The road construction worker wasn't harmed, but Nathaniel Morris, 40, of Fort Pierce, "has a well-founded fear that the defendant (Wink) was attempting to strike him." Wink allegedly made contact with Morris and then threw the orange that landed within feet of the traffic-control sign operator. The report doesn't indicate what contact Wink allegedly had with Morris.

After the orange was thrown, Wink is alleged to have laughed and then gone back inside his residence, reports said.

Police went to Wink's condominium and quoted him as saying he didn't throw the orange maliciously and was just trying to get rid of it. "It was rotting and did not want the fruit" in his residence, according to police reports...


I am glad that no one was injured, but here are a few things that I wanted to know...

--Why was the defendant still dressed only in his underwear after being arrested?

--Did the construction worker see the flying orange and dodge it?

--Did the defendant rule out a watermelon toss thinking that it might hurt someone?

--What back-story exists between the defendant and victim?

--How far can a scantily-clad near-70-year-old toss an orange?

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But I guess the most important question is:

Should this incident serve as a warning for me to curtail my activities of fruit/veggie throwing into our back field while sporting boxers?

If so, the deer are going to be disappointed.

Well, maybe not about the boxers.

26 comments:

Bob G. said...

Slamdunk:
Apparently that 70 year old can toss that fruit FAR ENOUGH...lol.

(BTW, how's this new blogger look working for 'ya?)_

Stay safe out there.

Kristen @ Motherese said...

Could this incident be an innocent attempt at composting? :)

Sarah Ahiers said...

Ok wait. Throwing an orange at someone, but not hitting them, counts as a Felony Aggravated Assault? WTF? That really makes no sense to me

Pat Hatt said...

So he gets charged for having bad aim? I suppose it depends on if it was for real or not. Maybe his Depends were in a bunch..LOL...those deer better watch out.

Tina L. Hook said...

The truth is always stranger than fiction.

My condolences to the deer.

Jill Kemerer said...

So funny!! Lesson learned--put a pair of pants on before throwing a fruit. Or maybe switch to celery? Less lethal? ha!

messymimi said...

What ever happened to throwing rotten tomatoes when you don't like the performance?

Brian Miller said...

oh man...that might have hurt from 7 stories...i wonder how many commedians could have people arrested for throwing tomatoes...

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

I often chuck apples from our apple tree (when we have too many) into the horses' pasture. I hope I don't get arrested for animal cruelty.

Clarissa Draper said...

What an odd story. I'm glad no one was hurt. Perhaps he refused to put his clothes on.

Carol Kilgore said...

I'm sure tossing oranges while fully clothed is totally OK - LOL.

I'd like to know about their backstory, too.

Theresa Milstein said...

Why is the person arrested only wearing underwear? I asked myself that question quite often when I used to watch "Cops".

Stina Lindenblatt said...

The last one cracked me up. Yes, how far can a scantily-clad near-70-year-old toss an orange?

At least he was wearing boxers and not women's underwear.

Poor deer!!! They won't be happy to hear the consequence of this news story.

Jax said...

LMAO Ever see Mrs. Doubtfire??? It's a fly by fruiting!!! hahahahaha

Hilary said...

"Why was the defendant still dressed only in his underwear after being arrested?"

Perhaps his lawyer already briefed him. ;)

Cindy Beck, author said...

Okay, I have to say that the article and your comments cracked me up, Slamdunk!

But Hilary's comment takes the cake. Or the fruit. Whichever works.

Beth Zimmerman said...

I thought the old dude was trying to be gracious until he said that the orange was rotting! And that bail seems a bit excessive!

Lt said...

And the prosecution will use the fact that it was rotting fruit in aggravation.

Strange world.

Ciara said...

That last question is key! Of course, I lived in Miami, so this does not surprise me. :)

Caryn Caldwell said...

Ha ha ha! Good questions, too! Being struck by an orange...not the most graceful excuse to have to miss work the next day. (Good thing he was unharmed, then...)

SuziCate said...

Now a really good reporter would have included the answers to those interesting questions! And yes, I'm sure the deer will be happy you are dressed before serving them breakfast!

Maxi said...

Puleeze, the police should have talked with these two and told them to move on.

Blessings - Maxi

Miranda Hardy said...

Glad you found this article. I must have missed it in the news. Lol

I bet he wishes it was a watermelon,

ladyfi said...

Wow - that old guy could certainly throw far!

I think you can safely throw fruit out for the deer though...

Secret Agent Woman said...

I think if you are throwing something down off a building, strength has nothing to do with it. Seems like it should only be attempted assault since he didn't hit the guy, but can't you do some serious damage to someone if you drop something on them from above?

Lisa said...

I think you're safe as long as there aren't any traffic control sign operators within striking distance. Go for it! Live dangerously.