Nicknames

Sorry, no missing person post this week either...
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Over the years, I have been referred to by many names other than my own.

And yes, I can even include some on this blog.

Omitting "Slamdunk" because it does not have a good story behind it, here are a few:

Monsignor
Somehow in college, I became a fraternity member.  I am not fraternity material, and would look dreadful wearing a toga similar to those of the party guys in Animal House.

In any event, I was a frat boy for my undergraduate years and served as president during my junior year.

My secret to rising to the top of a "greek" organization?

Outstanding leadership and organizational skills? Great mobilizing of resources? Superb motivational speaker?

Umm, well, no, no, and no.

I think I was the "go-to" guy at the frat because I was actually sober at the parties and social events.

Once that I was seen as "responsible," the "Monsignor" nickname was given and I took over as president soon after.

Running Man
I finished first in my police academy class in running and fitness. When I hit the streets with my training officers, being the Running Man earned me the job of "designated foot chaser" of fleeing criminals, while the older smarter officers drove or watched--keeping their uniforms clean and dry.

The Janitor
I always seem to have a keychain full of keys. I have keys for vehicles, houses, deposit boxes, shed locks, and probably, if I looked at each key, a few that I don't remember what they open. As such, an officer that I worked with (now a police commander), tagged me with the custodial nickname.

So that guy walking past you with the loud jingle--that may be me "The Janitor."

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I also do have two nicknames that I aspire to earn, but it is a work in progress:

T-Bone
I think this is such a diverse moniker--it can create images ranging from a football star to an eclectic musician.  Plus, George from Seinfeld made "T-Bone" an all time classic.

Trophy Husband/Arm Candy
I can dream can't I?

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Do you have a unique nickname?

Lunch Money Woes: Husband Gets Frogged

Today I was "frogged."

Frogged as in when someone punches your muscles in the upper arm near your shoulder, and it causes that weird feeling.

The Mrs. was the person who frogged me.

And she did it with intent.

Why?

I am not sure, but let me relive the events leading up to my unexpected bonk...

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The Mrs. calls me on the cell phone and asks if I have any money in my wallet.

I tell her that I have $32.

She asks if I can drop by her office around 11 am, and give her some cash that she needs for a surprise lunch meeting.

Being the responsible husband, I am there at 10:50 am with an open wallet.

I enter the building, climb the stairs, and approach her chair in the upstairs window office.

I hold cash in my hand, and say in my best Southern twang accent:

Here's $2 ma'am. Now, you go buy yourself something real pretty, ok?

I then received the solid round-house punch causing the frogger.

After reflecting, I am at a loss to explain it.

Anyone help me out where I went wrong?

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Have a good weekend everyone.


Case Quacked

Creativity and criminality often walk hand-in-hand:

(ATLANTA, GA) Two women remained jailed Tuesday after being arrested last week in an alleged identity theft scheme that targeted police officers and firefighters.

"The women advised that the city was changing its insurance options and offered AFLAC disability insurance, life insurance and health insurance supplements," Jones said. "The women solicited several officers and supervisors to fill out an application packet that included vital personal identification information for the employees, their spouses and children."

Jones said that when the women went to the APD Zone 1 precinct, a lieutenant began to question them, "and eventually ejected them from his precinct."

The lieutenant contacted the department's Personnel Unit, and learned from AFLAC's actual representative to the city that the women were not authorized to solicit information.

"At this point, Major Fraud and the Homeland Security/Intelligence units were contacted," Jones said.

"Ms. Pedone was reached by cell phone and she agreed to come to police headquarters and turn over the documents that she had, which she did," Jones said. "It was discovered that the second suspect was at the Embassy Suites Hotel near the airport. Major Fraud units went to the hotel to recover the documents that she had. She was located and transported back to headquarters."

...The women were taken to the Fulton County Jail, charged with multiple counts of identity theft and racketeering. They remained in jail Monday on $55,000 bond.

Jones said that 39 packets of personal information have been recovered.

Cooper said detectives were still trying to determine what the women intended to do with the personal information.

Personally, I think the case was cracked (or better yet "quacked") when one of the officers wanted a free squishy hand-held stress reducer of the AFLAC duck that those sales folks always carry by the truckload.

When the accused person could not produce the duck made famous by AFLAC in their commercials, the officers had no recourse but to launch an immediate investigation.

In sum: if in doubt, always ask for the freebies.
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Note: For those who do not know who the AFLAC duck is, here is a link with one of the commercials.


How to Prevent Lost Luggage

I am still shaking sand off from our visit to Padre Island, TX, so no missing persons post this week.

Instead I have this...

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My travel joke with the family has always been:

Tell me again why I need to pack a bag? If I am going to be at the beach for three days, can't I just wear three sets of clothing on day one, board the plane, and then simply remove a set of clothes on each morning?

Well, I did not use this approach on my trip to the beach, but I did get the last laugh on the Mrs. when the family arrived at our destination, and the airlines had temporarily lost the checked luggage for every passenger on our flight.

If I had only gone with my layered strategy.
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Note: The airline quickly located our flight's bags at the airport where we had departed (changing planes) and got them to us a few hours later--plus a $50 gift card. It was no big deal for us.

I am not sure whose bags arrived with us at our final destination, but I am sure that somewhere in this connected blogging world of ours, someone else wrote a moving post on the lost luggage that I stared at as it moved off the conveyor belt last Sunday.

At the Beach

I am at the beach this week, and will be back to blogging soon (once I shake the sand off of everything).

In the meantime, I still have an opening for one team in my blog's fantasy football league.

We play for fun so there is no experience required--we have two or three first-time competitors already this season.

If you are interested, just send me an email to theslamdunktrove@gmail.com .

Finding Control

I hope this does not become pandemic:
(Greenfield, WI) A 97-year-old man who wanted to watch a Milwaukee Brewers game called 911 to report someone had stolen his remote control.

According to the Greenfield police report:

The man called 911 to report someone had stolen his remote control from his residence in the 9300 block of West Howard Avenue prior to 8 p.m. Sept. 26.

The remote control was found after police responded, so the man was able to watch the Brewers game.

With the kids around here "forgetting" to return the remote to a visible location, I think I spend more time looking for television remote controls than I do actually watching the old "idiot box."

Oh well.

Is the remote control thief active in your neighborhood?

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I hope everyone has a nice weekend.


Married Guy Fashion

My annual "Visit My Father on Padre Island, Texas" trip will be here in a few days, and accompanying older boy and I this year, will be little Sissy.

She is pumped--a trip to the beach and her first time flying in an airplane.

Anyway, Sissy and mom have been shopping so that she can show off warm-weather fashions during the adventure.

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Sissy stands in front of a full-length mirror staring at a colorful summer dress.

SISSY: Dad do you like this outfit? Mom and I bought it yesterday.

ME: You look great buddy!

She smiles and points to two other dresses on the table.

SISSY: I get to bring the pink and the blue dresses too.

ME: I am sure you'll be a big hit with all those South Texas style critics.

I exit the room and return in couple of minutes. Sissy is still looking at her clothes.

ME: Hey Sissy. What do you think?

I do a half-turn in front of the mirror, hands on my hips. Sissy looks and opens her mouth to say something, but stops; obviously confused.

SISSY: Ummmm. What do I think about "what" Dad?

ME: My outfit? I mean my shorts specifically.

I do the half-turn again highlighting the oversized khaki shorts that I am wearing with a thin belt.

SISSY: Well Dad, they look like what you regularly wear in the hot weather.

ME: No. These are special. They are my "eating pants." See I can adjust the belt to a "before and after buffet" setting.

Sissy laughs.

ME: I like to think that I set fashion trends as well while away. My style is likely best referred to as "Over-the-Hill Married Guy."

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Ok, so my good calorie intake on vacation is balanced by being able to take a daily morning beach run.

It does wonders to quiet my "eating" conscience.

Not Just an American Thing

Of the missing persons cases that I discuss here, I primarily focus on those being handled by American law enforcement.

I feel competent in US investigation techniques, and feel that I can best speak on cases from that perspective.

But, volumes of missing persons cases exist worldwide.

And sadly, the investigation into the disappearance of Piers Hopson was recently closed:

(EAST SUSSEX, ENGLAND) The family and friends of St Leonards man Piers Hopson paid their last respects to him at his funeral and thanksgiving service on Tuesday.

Scores of people gathered at the Church of St John the Evangelist in Crowborough for prayer and to pay tribute to him...

Piers, 35, who lived in Southwater Road, St Leonards, suffered from Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism.

He disappeared on January 25, 2010 from his care home after saying he was going on a walk. The last sighting of him was in Rock-a-Nore Road.

His family spent two-and-a-half years searching for him, distributing posters with his face on across Sussex, Kent and beyond.

Numerous possible sightings of Piers were made and reported to police, but none were confirmed.

His sister, Abigail Gutteridge, took the search online by setting up a Facebook page, called Help Find Piers Hopson, which drew more than 2,000 followers.

Piers’ family even offered a £10,000 reward for his safe return and made numerous televised appeals and in the local media.

But Piers’ body had already been found eight miles off Newhaven in September 2010 by a French trawler and taken back to France.

It took until April this year for his remains to be formally identified despite a DNA profile being taken a year earlier.

Piers’ family were told the devastating news by police in June after the results were passed on to Sussex Police.

Mr Hopson, in his tribute at Tuesday’s service, thanked Sussex Police, the charity Missing People, the media and everyone who helped in the family’s search for Piers...
Coordinating law enforcement efforts when multiple countries are involved is complex, but I hope French and English authorities are able to provide better services to their citizens when something like this happens again.

Making the family wait for years for an identification to be made is inexcusable.

Also there maybe something omitted in the article, but I can't imagine being a sea captain, pulling a body out of the water eight miles off the coast of a country and not returning to the closest port or even giving local authorities a "head's up" about what was found.

Anyway, kudos to the organization Missing People, a United Kingdom charity, for publicizing the Piers Hopson story and search prior to the discovery of his body.

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To read more of my Missing Person Monday posts, you can click here.

No Robbery Here

Sometimes, police work involves fighting crime, but unfortunately it also includes incidents that are a complete waste of time and resources:

A driver used his cellphone to call Memphis police dispatchers on Wednesday, reporting that he was chasing a man who had just robbed him of about $500 at gunpoint, according to a court affidavit.

The robber was firing shots at him as he gave chase, the man said.

Memphis police scrambled to locate the two vehicles and one officer did at 4:54 p.m., just as the man giving chase told police dispatchers that the robber had fired more shots at him.

However, the officer reported that he did not see any weapon or any shots fired.

Police then stopped both vehicles involved in the chase at Bill Morris Parkway and Ridgeway, according to the court document.

They found no gun and no $500 in the auto driven by the 29-year-old man being chased.

Officers from two precincts shut down Bill Morris Parkway at Ridgeway for about two hours trying to find a gun, according to the court document. They didn't find one.

The Memphis man who called police from his car, Brian D. Harris, 27, said he didn't know the man he was chasing, investigators reported. However, his cellphone revealed that he had spoken to that man several times on Wednesday.

And the 29-year-old man being chased told police that he and Harris had agreed to meet at a Mapco convenience store and gas station at Winchester and Kirby.

The man was to buy some marijuana from Harris, he told police, but took it without paying for it and fled in his car, according to the court document.

Police on Thursday charged Harris with the felony of making a false report.

He was held in Shelby County Jail on $20,000 bond...

Roadways closed for hours.

Multiple police personnel and units committed to the incident.

Sad, that this type of wild goose chase is all too common.

And we the public have to pay for it--both monetarily and with our time.

Blah.

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I hope everyone has a super weekend.

Ouch My Elbow!

Recently, the following incident occurred at our older son Benjamin's basketball practice.

Put a group of fifth grader's in a room or gym for an hour and entertainment is guaranteed.

Also, Joey Basketball is one of Benjamin's aggressive teammates.

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JOEY BASKETBALL: Coach my elbow!  Ouch, ouch, ouch!!!

Tears stream down Joey's cheeks.

COACH: Joey, calm down! Can you move it? Ok, good. What happened?

Joey wipes the tears from his face with his non-injured arm, and goes back to rubbing his elbow.

JOEY BASKETBALL: Well, I was trying to get that last rebound and I slammed my elbow hard! It went right into Benjamin's face!  Ouch, ouch ouch!

Frowning, coach looks at Benjamin--he is rubbing a red mark on his forehead and smiling.

COACH: Good gosh Joey! Get back out there! Ball in!

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I knew Benjamin having younger siblings who act like he is a human trampoline and daily pummel him would pay off with toughness.

Bring it on Joey!