A few weeks ago as I was knee-deep in grading papers, one submission reminded me of when I had stayed up too late finishing a darn undergrad assignment.
I think I was a freshman and on a history paper stated something to this extent:
The President literally died in anticipation of the teletype's contents.
After the papers were scored, I remember the professor patiently yet with several belly laughs explaining to me the difference between "literally" and "figuratively."
Wow, was I red-faced.
Anyway, a current student gave me a good belly laugher as well when he wrote:
Preliminary research indicates that selective decapitation is a viable option for relieving some of the burden placed on modern correctional systems.
I think the Mrs. would take that sentence and run with it. She is fully prepared to recommend selective decapitation for me if I continue to leave the toilet seat lid up.
Note: The term the student wanted was "selective decapacitation" which means to properly assess criminal offenders so that corrections officials can direct certain low-risk individuals to alternatives other than prison.
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