Do Not Blame Me

As the husband/father here, I deserve more than my share of the blame for things.

Blame me for making the non-refundable hotel reservation for son's soccer tournament when there is a chance his team could be eliminated on Day 1 and we would have no need to stay for Day 2.

Blame me for the pile of papers and football magazines hidden under the living room chair. I don't feel like walking upstairs every time I "need" them.

Blame me for the mustard stain on my t-shirt; as well as the mustard stains on 5 or 6 other shirts in the Dad closet.

Blame me for the milk stain on the ceiling in the kitchen. Who knew that liquid from a gallon jug could explode so high when simply dropped at waist-high?

Blame me for the foot odor. I don't need to add anything to this one.

But there is one household problem that Dad cannot be held responsible for.

An ick that needs to be remedied every 4-6 weeks.

In what situation could Dad be totally innocent?

Clogged shower drains.

Specifically, clogged shower drains due to hair.

This "follicly challenged" guy knows the cause of the clog since I am the one summoned every time to fix it.

Nope, that problem is attributed to the two females with long straight hair that reside here.

All their fault.

Now after reviewing the first part of this post, I just need to think of some more problems that I can be removed of as the prime suspect to better balance my scorecard.


This will require some prolonged brain exercises.

I'll go get my Mountain Dew. The one with the screw-on cap to prevent spills.


messymimi said...


Okay, you get a pass on that one. And if you don't eat in front of the computer, you can't be blamed for the crumbs in the keyboard, either.

Have a great Wednesday!

Pat Hatt said...

haha well that is one for sure you aren't at fault for. I think you'll need to find a lot though to balance out that milk stain

Elena DeRosa said...

My husband feels your pain!!!

lisa said...

Oh, isn't that just horrid? Makes me gag every time I have to clean it out. And, I admit, it's usually mine! Ick! But I don't think you can get out of the mustard stains and hidden magazines so easily. :-)

Rachel Lloyd said...

Hilarious! Just shaking my head!

Brian Miller said...

haha to prevent spills...maybe we need sippy cups...ah yes i can take my fair share...its not my hair either though...and i def have to fix it...smiles.

ladyfi said...

Ha ha! Loved this.

Bob G. said...

LOL...sounds like Wifey's short list for ME...!
Very well said.

Amazing just how HIGH liquids can go when aided by a waist-high crop.

Stay safe out there.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Long hair guilty here too.

Secret Agent Woman said...

In my household, my adolescent sons have far more hair than I do - so I blame clogged drains on them!

Hilary said...

Ah well YOU're not to blame but my son, my SO and I all have long hair... past shoulder length for two of us and past waist length for my son. Throw into this mix, the one year period when my son's now ex girlfriend (past butt length hair) lived with us and you can imagine the state of my drains. Yeah you're off the hook.