Using MMA to Combat Drowsy Driving?

The following post will likely doom any hope that I had of becoming a famous spokesperson for the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration…
______________________________________

Recently, researchers asked drivers how they combat fatigue when behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. Understandably, the most common answer was to drink a caffeinated beverage.

Other popular remedies when tired were: roll down a window, sing, eat, slap yourself, and splash water on your face.

Hmm.

A very vanilla list.

I think their recommendations need some spice.

Having worked a 3rd shift for many years and driven lots of long car trips, I feel qualified in offering my two-cents to make their list better resonate with the average driver:

1) Roll Down a Window
I advocate not only rolling down a window, but hanging as many body parts as possible out the window while driving and still safely operating the vehicle: hand, arm, elbow, ear, and nose to name a few. Nothing like a blast of cold air to the noggin to refresh.

2) Splash Water on Your Face
Don't just use a a couple of drops, I recommend a water sprayer. A big one. I mean a few blasts from one of those kid super soakers and you are drenched and downright uncomfortable. Sleep is no longer on your mind. Note: This tip works better if the vehicle being operated is a rental--the soaked interior will be someone else's problem.

3) Drink Caffeine
Researchers recommend consuming your favorite caffeinated drink. But why stop at one? Heck, bring a 12 pack of soda, iced tea, or get multiple coffees that can be chugged. After a few drinks, I am not only wired, but I am focused on finding a convenient bathroom. Drink and pee. Drink and pee. The cycle will go on for hours with no time for fatigue.

4) Slap Yourself
I take this one up a notch as well. Slap yourself to start with. Move to punches and then start pinching--squeezing yourself to the point of self-mutilation. You'll arrive at your destination in one piece, but you may need to have a comprehensive story concocted that explains why you look like the losing contestant in a Mixed Martial Arts or MMA fight.

5) Eat
Don't eat a full meal or something filling. Candy, gum or snacks are better, but for the best results, stuff a wad of salted sunflower seeds (still in the shell) in your cheek. This will keep you busy for hours as you work the mechanics of shelling the seeds in your mouth and then (neatly? hahaha) disposing of the outer shells. Warning: You will want to brush your teeth thoroughly and dispose of the cup full of sucked on shells so as not to see yourself drop several rungs on society's social ladder.

So, on your next long trip, don't let drowsiness ruin your adventure.  Use one or more of my tips so that you arrive safely at your destination.

Don't follow my suggestions?

Tsk-tsk.

You may end up like the participants featured on this video:



Note: for a comprehensive list of tips to combat drowsy driving, go to the National Safety Council's  site here.
-------------------

A special thanks to the funniest sleepy dogs for being the star of this post. 

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

23 comments:

joeh said...

I definitely open a window, sometimes a closed car is not properly ventilated. The lack of oxygen makes you drowsy.

ladyfi said...

Ha ha - very funny! Loud music helps too. Or a quick nap at a service station.

Midlife Roadtripper said...

Hahahaha! That was the funniest video. Enjoyed it.

i never let the car get too warm. Then i tend to drift.

Bijoux said...

Having taken coach bus trips across the country, I have seen drivers keep their window open (so that the rest of us freeze), eat Cheetos, and slap their legs. And nothing made me stay awake more in my life than realizing that the bus driver was having trouble staying awake.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Opening a window and caffeine are great. When I used to travel 3 months of the year for a job, another trick I used if I was really struggling was to buy some sprees. They last a while since they are a harder candy, and the sugar would give me a pick me up. I don't eat them otherwise - just when super tired driving.

Pat Hatt said...

Window is a good one indeed, but getting the place soaked would sure work, so uncomfortable and nasty feeling you wouldn't sleep indeed. Just like the dog going face first in the water haha awake then

Mary Kirkland said...

I always left the window open, blasted heavy metal music and drank several coffee's if I was tired while driving. But he time I got to my destination I was cold, had a headache and needed to pee. LOL

Gloria Baker said...

Haha Hubby use to splash water in his face especially when he come back at night (we live in the countryside)
And yes he has a water sprayer!
Love the dogs video especially the more littles.

messymimi said...

Stop and buy a big coffee, preferably an iced coffee. Drink it fast, then set your alarm and curl up for a 45 minute nap. At the end of about 45 minutes, the caffeine is really kicking in, and you will be good to go for a while.

Of course, a few hours later you get to peel me off the ceiling when i'm having a caffeine induced panic attack and can't actually sleep when i should!

Miranda Hardy said...

Some great recommendations. How about the passenger punch the driver over and over to keep him awake? I
Like that idea very much.

Gail Dixon said...

You are a riot. :) I would think caffeine pills instead of caffeinated drinks, but then your post wouldn't have been as funny.

ed pilolla said...

ha! all those things help, and i run through them all, but when i'm tired at night i know i'm going down behind the wheel so i must git off da road.

A Cuban In London said...

The window is my one, followed by caffeine. The problem with the latter is that your body can get used to it and once you drink coffee or tea, it can have the opposite effect. It can send you to sleep. :-)

Greetings from London.

terri said...

I don't have trouble staying awake while driving. Only when I'm the passenger.

I do have to attend way to many meetings at work, and a nap is often kind of tempting. Maybe I should try some of your tactics to stay focused!

The dogs in the video are SO cute! I've never seen a dog fall asleep on its feet before!

Brian Miller said...

take a lock of your hair and roll it up in the window...if you nod off...it will pull you hair...and hurt enough you wake up....

Hilary said...

Funny stuff. You're a hoot. And I like both MessyMimi's and Brian's idea. His would work for me but what about folks with shorter hair?

Stephanie Faris said...

You're hilarious! I actually did pull into a Taco Bell drive-thru once when I was much younger and get one soft taco just to stay awake. It worked! I don't know why, but it energized me. Caffeine doesn't help me at all when I'm sleepy.

Murr Brewster said...

My technique for staying awake while driving is to drift around and hit something. Eventually, I wake up. So far, at least.

Secret Agent Woman said...

I roll down a window, drink caffeinated beverages, sing. But If I'm really drowsy, I pull over and sleep in the car for about ten minutes.

Bunkerville said...

Thanks for a nice change of pace!

Donna K. Weaver said...

Okay, that was hilarious. And the ending video. Thanks for the laughs!

Theresa Milstein said...

Hm... I might just pull over and take a nap. But if there's no time, I'm going with the spray-bottle option... especially if I'm in a rental car.

lisa said...

Oh, I have one to add to your list! Have your passenger consume a lot of Red Bull. She/he will TALK YOUR EAR OFF for the duration of your trip. Yes, this happened on one of our 13-hour trips. Daughter #2 and I took over the overnight drive at midnight. She had just finished some Red Bull and I never got a word in edgewise for the next 5 hours. :-) Great video! I LOLed more than once! :-)